


After and Before

by pitch_playbook



Category: Black Mirror
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/F, Femslash, San Junipero, Yorkie/Kelly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 06:58:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8391706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pitch_playbook/pseuds/pitch_playbook
Summary: Based on a Tumblr prompt from ifiwascottoncandy:
"Can someone please do a fanfic where when Yorkie comes out it is because she had fallen in love with Kelly. Then when they finally meet again it is San Junipero."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Tumblr user ifiwascottoncandy for the fantastic prompt. I haven’t written in a while and I loved San Junipero so much and your prompt really inspired me. I loved the idea and I hope you’ll like what I came up with. For anyone reading this thank you, and I would of course love it if you left a comment with your thoughts. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Enjoy!

It’s not like she hasn’t thought about it, saying hi to her that is. She thinks about sparking up a conversation with her all the time. Yorkie isn’t exactly the type to just strike up a conversation with anyone though, much less the stunning beauty she sees riding her bike through the park every day. She wants to though, maybe someday. Maybe someday she’ll ask her for her name, find out where she was born, what her favourite color is, if she prefers reading or watching movies, everything. Maybe someday, the words hang in the back of her mind. Today is not someday though, so today she just watches as her bike disappears in the distance.

 

Yorkie watches as kids of all ages run around the park, far too many of them screaming at the top of their lungs. She’s always hated how loud kids can be when they play. She hates this park, with its too loud kids and too few places to sit. Arly loves it though. It was never her dream to be a nanny, it’s just a profession her parents approve of but she likes it well enough. She likes Arly, she’s not too loud, or too fussy. She’s sweet, even if she does like this terrible park. Yorkie can forgive the young girl that; after all, she does get to admire the beautiful girl who rides her bike every day through the park.

* * *

He won’t stop following her around; apparently he can’t take a hint. It’s times like these she’s glad she only has 5 hours, at least she gets to vanish into thin air soon enough. She was lonely when she met him, she wanted someone to be with, anyone. Too bad anyone won’t leave her alone now. There’s nothing wrong with Wes technically, he’s cute, he’s nice and he was an adequate lover but Kelly just isn’t interested. Maybe he’ll leave her be if he thinks she’s hanging out with some friends, she could have friends here. Who should she pick to befriend, that is the question.

 

She can’t believe her eyes when she turns around and sees red hair and glasses; the sight of her still takes her breath away. Kelly has never been shy, ever but she’s almost hesitant to walk toward her. It feels like forever has come and gone since the last time she saw those glasses, and it might as well have. She’s a different person now, but hell if she doesn’t feel the same butterflies as she did that day in the park.

 

“Hey,” falls from Kelly’s lips as she takes a seat in the booth.

 

“Hi.”

 

It’s breathless and almost unintelligible but it’s there.

 

“You’re here,” Kelly muses, as if the fleeting thought adds anything that isn’t obvious to the conversation.

 

She catches a glimpse of Wes as he rolls his eyes and walks away. Maybe he can take a hint, at least for now.

 

She says it as if still in disbelief, “Yorkie.”

 

The way the smile breaks through her lips makes Kelly smile. She’s missed that smile.

 

Yorkie hasn’t said anything since greeting her, but she’s still smiling at her.

 

“Come dance with me,” she prods, offering Yorkie her hand.

 

Yorkie just shakes her head. Kelly isn’t sure what she expected, but she wants her to take her hand.

 

Kelly can feel the timid reluctance as they walk to the dance floor, Yorkie’s fingertips just barely grazing her own. The song has barely reached the chorus when Yorkie’s face contorts; she’s still so uncomfortable in her own skin. Scarred. She shouldn’t be surprised when she runs away, but she thought maybe after everything she’d stay.

 

At least she doesn’t feel cold when she steps out into the rain as she follows Yorkie out into the alleyway.

 

“You don’t have to be afraid Yorkie, it’s me,” Kelly reassures her, running a soothing hand along her thigh.

 

“I can’t do this,” Yorkie almost cries.

 

Kelly’s heard this before.

 

“Your parents aren’t here Yorkie. Just come back to my place, we can be there quick.”

 

“I don’t care about my parents,” Yorkie retorts, “it’s just, I’m getting married.”

 

Kelly raises her eyebrow, “to whom?”

 

“Greg,” Yorkie says, starting to walk away. “He’s a really great guy,” she shouts and then it’s midnight.

* * *

Yorkie notices when she’s late, even if it’s only a minute past 3:30PM. She wonders what’s keeping her today. Maybe she has the day off; she just assumes she must be riding her bike to work when she rides through the park every weekday at the same time. She barely even notices the tap on her shoulder, but it is just enough to make her turn around, eyes off the path for at least a few seconds.

 

“Just go along with whatever I say,” her voice is as beautiful as she is and Yorkie can’t believe she actually just spoke to her.

 

“What?” she sputters.

 

“Just do it,” the other woman smiles at her.

 

Yorkie hadn’t even noticed the tall brooding fellow following the object of her affection.

 

“Kelly, come on girl. Just have one drink with me,” he begs.

 

“Sorry, I have to catch up with my old friend here. She’s dying.”

 

The way she blows him off is so smooth; Yorkie is even more enamored now.

 

Yorkie coughs for affect, “yeah, only a few months to live.”

 

She’s never lied to someone like that, a boldfaced lie right to their face. It’s a sin; at least that’s what her parents would say. They say a lot of things are sins, or rather they say the Bible says a lot of things are sins. The way she’s looking at the woman in her presence right now would definitely be classified as a sin. It feels so good though, whatever this feeling is.

 

The man scoffs but he walks away. That was easy.

 

Kelly laughs, “only a few months, nice touch.”

 

“I’m Yorkie,” she blurts out, “it’s nice to meet you.”

 

“I’ve noticed you watching me,” Kelly informs her, “and I’m Kelly.”

 

Yorkie stutters, “I’m…I’m sorry.”

 

“For the staring?” Kelly laughs, “don’t be.”

 

She’s imagined this moment, dozens of times before. Meeting the curly haired wonder woman that rides her pastel pink bike through the park. Yorkie has seen this moment in her dreams. She’s always been too shy to make it happen, but now she’s in front of her, she’s staring into her eyes instead of at her from a far. It’s happening and she still doesn’t know what to say next.

 

“Okay.”

 

Kelly laughs again, but Yorkie knows she isn’t laughing at her, it’s warm, her laughter and her smile; they’re both so warm.

“Can I take you out sometime?” Kelly asks.

 

“I shouldn’t.”

 

“You want to.”

 

Yorkie just nods. She does want to.

* * *

She wishes they could watch the sun rise sometime. Everything always ends at midnight but Kelly wishes they could watch the sun rise one day in San Junipero. Yorkie would be sitting next to her on the beach, their hands tangled in one another, her head resting on Yorkie’s shoulder. The warm breeze kisses the skin on their faces as they kiss each other. It would be lovely to watch the sun rise in San Junipero with Yorkie, maybe someday.

 

Her lips curve upward as Yorkie sits down next to her on the porch. They’re staring into darkness, but they’re together. She wraps an arm around Yorkie’s shoulders and presses a kiss to her temple. She’s missed this, just sitting with Yorkie and talking or not talking. Their silences are comfortable. She rubs circles on Yorkie’s back, around and around.

 

“Do you ever wonder if there are other places?” Yorkie asks after a few minutes.

 

“You mean, other than San Junipero?”

 

“Yeah, I mean other places you can visit.”

 

“I don’t know, maybe. Would you want to visit anywhere else?”

 

Yorkie’s head shakes slightly at the question, “no, I mean not unless you were visiting there too.”

 

A smile spreads across Kelly’s face and she takes the opportunity to press a gentle kiss to Yorkie’s cheek. She’s actually spent a lot of time thinking about whether there are other places, or if there is anything else. Not necessarily anything like San Junipero, but somewhere else, something else after death. The thought makes the cold chill the spreads throughout her body even worse, and she adjusts her sliders. Normally she likes to feel the weather, to feel some sense of normalcy but right now she’d rather be warm. They could go in the house, but the view is just too beautiful; Yorkie, and the beach.

* * *

She’s been standing outside the door for over twenty minutes now, afraid to go in. She agreed to a coffee date, even if she’s never actually tried coffee in her entire life but now she’s not sure she can go through with it. Yorkie had to lie to her parents and tell them she was headed to Bible study. A date with a beautiful young woman is decidedly not Bible study, but if she can ever muster up the courage to go in she’d rather be here. She pushes the door open and takes a deep breath, she wants this; she needs to just do it.

 

As it turns out Kelly works as a barista at this very coffee shop and she’s saved them the best, most private table in the house and scored them free drinks and cookies. Yorkie can’t help the goofy grin that spreads across her features as Kelly waves at her from the corner. No one has ever looked at her the way Kelly is looking at her right now and it should make her nervous, but it makes her happier than anything else.

 

“You made it,” Kelly greets her excitedly, standing up from the table to give her a hug. “I thought for a minute there you weren’t going to show up.”

 

Kelly winks at her as she says that last part, she could probably see that she had been standing outside for a while before finally coming in.

 

She takes her seat as Kelly hands her a paper cup filled with brownish liquid.

 

“I added some sugar and milk to yours,” Kelly informs her, “I hope that’s okay.”

 

“I’ve never had it,” Yorkie tells her, “coffee I mean.”

 

Kelly just smiles, “well if you don’t like it I’ll just have Gus make you a hot chocolate instead. How does that sound?”

 

Yorkie nods, no one has ever been as nice to her as Kelly is being right now. The concepts of kindness and basic human pleasantries are lost on her parents and she has no siblings and very few friends. Her best friend is the 5-year-old girl she takes care of. Someone like Kelly to hang out with, she’s never had that.

 

They talk about the weather for a while, and Kelly tells her more about the coffee shop and its owner. Kelly’s parents want her to give up being a barista and get a real job but Kelly likes it. It pays well enough, she gets a lot of hours and she really likes her co-workers. Plus the unlimited free coffee and pastries don’t hurt either. Kelly tells her about her favourite books, her favourite music and all her favourite places to hang out in town. There’s a bar she loves just a few blocks from here, she promises to take Yorkie one day when she’s old enough. It turns out Kelly has just turned 24, which makes her 4 years and 12 days older than Yorkie. Her mom is an orthodontist and her father works at a bank, real jobs, as they would put it.

 

Kelly stops herself in the middle of a sentence about her father and takes Yorkie’s hand in her own.

 

“I’m sorry,” she starts, “I’ve been talking so much about myself you haven’t had a chance to say a word. Tell me about yourself, what are your parents like?”

 

Her face falls at the mention of her parents, and she can’t help what happens next. As the tears start rolling down her cheeks Yorkie bolts away from the table and into the bathroom. The door has barely closed behind her when she sees Kelly come rushing into the bathroom. There’s a look painted on her face that Yorkie can’t quite place, worry maybe, definitely concern.

 

“I’m okay,” she assures Kelly, “parents are just sort of a sore subject for me.”

 

“Well I’m sorry I brought it up then,” Kelly offers earnestly, her hand gliding up to rest on Yorkie’s cheek.

 

“I don’t know how to do...” Yorkie starts, but Kelly’s finger pressed to her lips stops her before she can say _this_.

 

The next thing Yorkie feels is Kelly’s lips pressed against her own. She has never been kissed before but this; this feels amazing. She’s almost embarrassed by the involuntary sigh that escapes her lips when Kelly’s slip away. She definitely wants to do that again, and soon.

 

“Thank you,” she says, instantly regretting it.

 

Kelly just laughs, “you’re welcome. Shall we go back to our table?”

 

They talk for hours, until after dark and this time Yorkie actually tells Kelly about herself. She tells her about her job and her own favourite books and movies. She spends seven whole minutes explaining why she doesn’t like whole grain bread, and the whole time Kelly never takes her eyes off of her. She tells her about her parents, her extremely religious and extremely overbearing parents. She’s about to turn 20 but she lives in their house and by their rules; rules that decidedly do not include taking their car to go on a date with a girl. Kelly never interrupts her, just lets her ramble. It feels good to talk to someone other than a child whose main goal in life is to make sure her Barbie’s outfit is on point.

* * *

Her entire house smells like pancakes and Kelly loves the smell of pancakes. She’s never been able to get them quite right but Yorkie makes the best pancakes. She’d like to have Yorkie’s pancakes for breakfast some time but for now she’ll settle for having them at 10:30PM. They only have 90 minutes left for the week but they’ll make the most of it with the feast Yorkie has cooked up. Pancakes, bacon and eggs, plus a whole lot of maple syrup fill the kitchen table. They don’t really need to eat in San Junipero but there’s something nice about sharing a meal with someone, and they’ve certainly worked up an appetite tonight.

 

Kelly gratefully accepts a smooch on the lips as Yorkie sits down at the table with her. She knows this routine after the last couple of weeks. Yorkie will take the paper and read just the comics. She has two reasons for doing this, one she only has 5 hours a week with Kelly and she doesn’t want to waste time reading the paper and two she really only likes the comics anyway. Kelly watches as Yorkie laughs, she knows it’s probably at Garfield; that has always been her favourite one. Yorkie’s smile is infectious; her happiness makes Kelly happy, a thought that is sometimes scary.

 

“Do you ever wonder what might have happened with us if things had gone differently?” Kelly asks as Yorkie folds up the paper and sets it down.

 

The smile that had graced Yorkie’s face seconds early fades rapidly and she’s shaking her head.

 

“I don’t want to talk about my past.”

 

“Our past,” Kelly corrects her, trying not to sound angry.

 

She’s not upset with Yorkie for not wanting to talk about it, but she thinks about it from time to time and a lot since meeting Yorkie again in San Junipero. She wants to talk about it, but maybe that’s easier for her to do than for Yorkie. She wasn’t the one who got into an accident after a fight with her homophobic parents after all. She had a whole life, Yorkie’s past is one short, tragic story. She gets why she doesn’t want to have this conversation.

 

Kelly pulls her chair closer to Yorkie’s before speaking again. She places a hand gently on Yorkie’s bare leg.

 

“I didn’t leave you, you know. I wanted to see you after the accident but your parents wouldn’t let me. They wouldn’t even tell me what happened to you, no one would. I didn’t want to leave you.”

 

Yorkie just shakes her head, “I know.”

 

Yorkie leans forward just enough to capture her lips in a kiss.

 

“I’ve been a quadriplegic since the accident,” Yorkie tells her.

 

She can’t help the look on her face, a distraught look that Yorkie probably doesn’t want to see. She never imagined that Yorkie was never really okay again after her accident. She moved on with her life, met and married a wonderful man and experienced a full and beautiful life. She only hoped Yorkie had the same joy.

 

“Let me go see you,” Kelly offers, “in the real world.”

 

Yorkie shakes her head. “Please don’t, I want you to remember me as the young girl you met in the park, not a helpless old lady.”

 

“I will always remember you as the girl I loved,” Kelly assures her, “always. You’re still you Yorkie; you’re still there even if you can’t do the same things you once could. You’re still you and I want to see you.”

 

Loved, past tense rolls off her lips as if she isn’t falling completely and totally in love with Yorkie again now. She wasn’t prepared for any real feelings when she signed up for this whole San Junipero experience. This was supposed to be fun, and she’s having fun but it was supposed to be just fun. She doesn’t need these feelings, these incredibly inconvenient feelings.

* * *

The way Kelly smells is incredible, even when she’s just woken up. As Yorkie lies next to her she considers her body, she’s beautiful. She can’t believe that a girl who looks like Kelly is even remotely interested in her, but here they are. They were only sleeping, Yorkie isn’t quite ready for anything else but she still really likes the feeling of Kelly’s arms around her. She convinced her parents she was sleeping over at a friend from Bible study’s house, but all she’s been studying is Kelly’s body. She doesn’t wear very much to sleep, it makes her nervous but it’s also very hot.

 

They’ve been dating in secret like this for over six months now. Yorkie has never had a significant other before, not even so much as one of those fake relationships you have in grade school. She’s known for a long time that she likes women, she’s had crushes but she just didn’t know what to do with that information. Her parents would never approve of her dating anyone, much less someone like Kelly, so feminine and gorgeous. It’s just not right she can hear them say in the back of her mind. She shudders at the thought. They would ruin this, and she doesn’t want to ruin this.

 

“What do you want to do today?” she asks Kelly.

 

“Hmmm,” is the first reply today as Kelly turns over to face her.

 

“I’ll take that as you being open to suggestion.”

 

“I’m always open to suggestion,” Kelly says with a sly wink.

 

“I was thinking we could go to the bookstore,” Yorkie suggests, “I think they get their new stuff in today. We could browse for a while and then get coffee.”

 

“Sounds like the perfect Saturday darling, sign me up.”

 

Kelly’s lips are pressed against her own before she can reply, but it doesn’t matter. This is so much better than words.

* * *

“Why didn’t you tell me you were only marrying Greg so you could pass over?”

 

Her tone is slightly more accusatory than she means for it to be. Kelly doesn’t want to berate Yorkie, she’s only wondering. She didn’t know what she meant before when she told her she had to marry Greg, now it just seems silly.

 

Yorkie sighs, “I didn’t want you to react like this.”

 

“Marry me instead,” Kelly blurts out.

 

The look on Yorkie’s face is more than incredulous; Kelly almost wants to laugh. She takes Yorkie’s hands in her own and looks deep into her eyes. She’s serious about this.

 

“I know it sounds crazy, but we could do it. Marry me and I’ll sign the papers. I want you to be happy, to be here if this is where you want to be.”

 

Yorkie just plants a big one on her lips, and doesn’t let go.

 

“That’s a yes then?” Kelly asks, smiling.

 

It’s the least she can do for the girl she loved; the girl she loves.

* * *

Yorkie can’t believe her eyes when she looks up to see Kelly holding flowers, balloons, chocolates and a gift wrapped in bright paper. She’s surprised she can hold it all, but Kelly’s balancing act is working. Yorkie is 21 today and there is nowhere she would rather be than sitting on the beach with Kelly. She met Kelly 8 days before her 20th birthday and now a whole year has past, the best year of her life in fact. Her year has been perfect, all because of Kelly who is now standing before her performing what can only be described as a magic trick.

 

She can only assume this display is the result of her telling Kelly that she’s never had a nice birthday before. Her parents have always ignored her birthday, and essentially anything fun in the world. They have no time for fun, or for her unless it’s to tell her what to do and what not to do and drag her to church. She still goes with them every Sunday because it’s easier to just do what they say than try to reason with them. Reason is not a world in her father’s vocabulary and her mother just does whatever her father says. This is the first birthday she won’t spend with them ignoring her as she hopes that maybe they’ll just get her a cake, or a small gift. Even a birthday hug would have been nice. Anything more than the cold shoulder would have been nice, but that was every day growing up, not just her birthday.

 

“You remembered,” Yorkie says, half surprised, half delighted.

 

“Your birthday?” Kelly looks at her stunned, “of course I remembered.”

 

“Well thank you,” she adds, wrapping Kelly in a hug as she lays her bounty down on the beach towel.

 

When she spots a cake in the pile of things Kelly has lugged to the beach to celebrate her birthday her eyes light up. An actual birthday cake with the words _Happy Birthday Yorkie_ scrawled on it in pastel pink lettering sits before her. She’s never tasted birthday cake; she’s never been allowed to have a piece even of other people’s cakes. Too much sugar her parents always said. She somehow doubts that having sugar is a sin but according to her parents it wasn’t allowed.

 

“What do you want to do today?” Kelly asks her excitedly.

 

“Just lay here with you and eat that cake,” Yorkie replies simply.

 

“That can be arranged.”

 

She accepts a peck on the cheek from Kelly before she opens the cake box to cut a piece. It looks so good she can hardly contain her excitement.

 

“This tastes like your kisses feel,” Yorkie informs her.

 

It’s serious but at the same time playful. She’s never felt like this before, like love is enveloping every part of her and she can’t contain her happiness.

 

Yorkie swallows hard, “I love you Kelly.”

 

As soon as she tastes Kelly’s lips she has her response, but Kelly whispers in her ear anyway.

 

“I love you too Yorkie.”

* * *

Kelly’s heart beats faster every time Yorkie touches her, it’s an involuntary reaction, but she wouldn’t change it. Tonight she’s running her soft fingers along her neck and whispering in her ear in bed. It tickles a little, but it’s nice. Yorkie is so gentle, so sweet; it feels good to be in her arms.

 

“My daughter Alison asked me about that tattoo once, when she was fourteen,” Kelly starts.

 

She’s referring to the one Yorkie’s fingers are grazing as they speak, the numbers scrawled under her ear; 12.8.11 it reads. For every month, day and hour she and Yorkie were together, it felt less cliché than getting a date tattooed on her body. She got it shortly after the last time she saw Yorkie, she cried the entire time the artist was etching it into her skin and not because it hurt. The tattoo at the time was a goodbye, closure for a chapter in her life she would always wonder about it. It’s always been a lot like Yorkie, not visible to her but always there, on the back of her mind. She supposes it’s inaccurate now but oh well, it serves as a reminder of where they came from and she likes that.

 

“Oh yeah?” Yorkie sounds surprised. Kelly rarely talks about her daughter, it’s too painful for her but today she seems happy to.

 

“I told her the numbers add up to a lot of lovely moments,” Kelly shares.

 

“That’s sweet,” Yorkie coos, pressing a kiss to Kelly’s cheek.

 

“I wasn’t ready at the time to tell her I loved someone else before her father, before Richard.”

 

Yorkie knows she’s crying without even looking at her. Kelly can feel Yorkie’s hand on her cheek, wiping away the tears as they fall. Talking about her family, about her daughter Alison and her husband Richard is always painful. She feels especially guilty about talking about them to Yorkie. She got to move on and have a beautiful life with them when Yorkie’s life was cut short. She got the lifetime Yorkie would have loved to have with her, but with someone else. She wouldn’t trade her years with Richard, and their beautiful daughter for the world but there’s an ache in her heart when she talks about them. She can’t help it now, the floodgates are open and she’s talking. Today will just have to be a day when the desire to remember them is stronger than any pain or guilt she feels.

 

“Did you ever tell her about me?” Yorkie asks.

 

Kelly isn’t sure why she’s surprised by the question. Perhaps because Yorkie has never asked about Alison before, maybe she feels comfortable doing so now because she brought them up first. She’s happy to tell her about them though.

 

“I did,” Kelly answers, “I told her about what the numbers really stood for when she was 25.”

 

“Why 25?” Yorkie questions her, genuinely wanting to hear more about someone so special to Kelly.

 

Kelly’s expression grows more somber, “that’s how old I was when I lost you.”

 

You could hear a pin drop after that. The silence isn’t uncomfortable though; it never is between Yorkie and Kelly. It’s just a lot to take in.

* * *

Yorkie has never been less sure of something in her entire life. She decided to do this, to tell her parents the truth. She’s in love with Kelly and she doesn’t want to hide that anymore. If she has to tell her parents she’s gay she’s going to do it if it means she can be with Kelly openly. Sneaking around and being secretive has it’s own romantic charm, but she’d like to be able to walk down a crowded street and hold her hand. Too many people in this town know her parents so they forever have to hang out at Kelly’s place, at basically abandoned local haunts or out of town. She loves their little hiding spots, but the porch of her own house would be a perfectly fine place to kiss Kelly too.

 

She always said she would come out to her parents if she ever fell in love, she just never thought that day would come. Yorkie has never been the type that anyone falls in love with. She’s awkward and dorky, she wears glasses bigger than her face and she has no fashion sense to speak of. She trips over her own feet and her own words and she’s far from the life of the party, but still somehow Kelly loves her. More importantly she loves Kelly and she just wants to be honest about that. She can’t listen to another one of her dad’s suggestions about a gentleman from their church that she could marry. It may be too early for marriage yet but if she’s marrying anyone, it’s Kelly Booth. Yorkie Booth, she likes the sound of that.

 

She practiced saying it over and over in her head; Mom, I’m gay. She even thought about their possible reactions. In every scenario it ends badly, but how badly is still up in the air. She could never have prepared herself for the pitch of her mother’s scream, or the fire in her father’s voice as her shouts at her.

 

Their actual words are a blur but she definitely heard the world sin numerous times, and hell fire, and God.

 

“I won’t have a gay daughter,” her father finishes his rant and walks away.

 

The next thing she hears is the door slam behind her. She’s never walked out on her parents before but there’s a first time for everything. She didn’t expect things to go well, but she’s their daughter. They could at least have some compassion for their only daughter, but they never have. She’s surprised when she feels a tear roll down her cheek, but she shouldn’t be. She knew her parents would break her heart. They’ve always let her down, why would this be any different?

 

She gets behind the wheel of her car and grips the steering wheel tight. She can channel her anger into this. She can go for a ride and clear her head. She can go see Kelly; she’ll know exactly what to say.

 

The sound she hears before everything fades to black is horrifying. The sound of metal smashing against the hard trunk of an old tree, glass shattering; a scream is stuck in her throat and suddenly everything turns to nothing.

* * *

Yorkie is a vision in the wedding dress she changes into on Saturday after her arrival. It seemed fitting for the occasion that they both wear white. They’re married; Kelly can’t believe that she can say that she’s married again, after all this time. Marriage wasn’t exactly her idea of a care free, fun time in San Junipero. She’d do anything for Yorkie though, including marry her so that she can have a second chance at life.

 

“How does it feel to be a full fledged resident of San Junipero?” Kelly asks, smiling at her beautiful bride.

 

“It’s amazing,” Yorkie gushes.

 

She’s been enamored with this place since the first day she visited.

 

“I’m glad, you deserve every happiness in the world Yorkie. If San Junipero makes you happy, I’m glad you can spend your eternity here.”

 

“I’m glad I get to spend eternity here with you babe,” Yorkie smiles at her but Kelly can’t smile back.

 

“Yorkie,” she’s already pleading with her not to get mad, “when I die, I’m not coming to San Junipero. I’m done.”

 

The look on Yorkie’s face is a very obvious mix of hurt and confusion. Kelly has never seen Yorkie look so betrayed, it breaks her heart but there’s so much she’ll never understand about Kelly’s life, about her past without her.

 

“Why did you ask me to marry you if you didn’t mean forever then?” Yorkie spits out.

 

“I did it to help you, you wanted to spend your life here so I made that happen. I love you, I do but Richard isn’t here, and Alison isn’t here.”

 

“He made his choice Kelly and you can make yours too,” there is more sadness and heartbreak than anger behind Yorkie’s words and Kelly knows that’s worse.

 

“Don’t talk about him like that. I was with him for 49 years Yorkie, 49 years of my life and you will never understand that. We never had that and I’m sorry but I had a lifetime with him. A lifetime of love and happiness and family, he was everything to me and so was Alison. Sadly I don’t think there’s a afterlife, I don’t think they are anywhere but my choice is them, and I’m sorry if you don’t like that I don’t want to spend forever in this technological graveyard.”

 

Tears are falling from Yorkie’s eyes but the pain in her heart is too much. Richard had his feelings and she has hers but it would feel too much like betraying his memory, and Alison’s memory to pass over here. San Junipero isn’t real; they were real.

* * *

When she doesn’t hear from Yorkie for three days she knows something is wrong. Kelly has never not heard from Yorkie for this long. Her stomach is in knots. She knows she only has one option but it will be the hardest thing she’s ever had to do.

 

She doesn’t know if she hopes they will answer the door or not. She knows Yorkie’s address because she’s dropped her off down the street from her house a few times. She would never risk her parents seeing her get dropped off by Kelly, but Kelly always insisted on being able to watch her walk safely to her front door in the dark. She knocks again and again until finally she hears footsteps from inside.

 

“Can I help you?”

 

Yorkie’s mother looks as cold as Yorkie described her and her voice matches that.

 

“Is Yorkie home?” Kelly asks hesitantly.

 

“No.”

 

The door is slammed in her face and Kelly doesn’t know what she expected. She wonders if they suspect anything. Could they suspect anything? Yorkie is always so careful to make sure they don’t find out about the two of them. If they knew that Yorkie is gay they’d never accept it, not if everything she’s heard about them is true.

 

She reads in the paper the next day about a local girl being in an accident a little over a month after her 21st birthday. The paper doesn’t print too many details but the make and color of the car are a giveaway. It does say she survived and she’s currently in the hospital, but the chances Yorkie’s parents will let her see their daughter are less than zero. She cries herself to sleep that night, and the night after that and the one after that. Kelly doesn’t know how to accept that she’ll never see Yorkie again. At least the last thing she said to her was I love you, and she meant it.

* * *

Yorkie jumps at the sound of the doorknob moving. She can’t imagine who might be trying to get in. She doesn’t really have any friends in San Junipero, except for Wes and that guy she plays video games with at Tucker’s bar. She’s not sure what to do; if this is a break in she’s ill prepared to fight off the assailant. She just crosses her fingers it’s someone trying to get into the wrong house.

 

“Honey, I’m home,” comes a familiar voice.

 

Kelly is standing in front of her and her jaw drops to the floor.

 

“What made you change your mind?” Yorkie asks, still shocked that Kelly is back in San Junipero.

 

“You.”

 

Yorkie is still frozen in place.

 

“I…uh,” she stutters, still not sure what to say. 

 

“I love you too,” Kelly finishes her thought.

 

It only takes her another 20 seconds before Yorkie is up and running into her arms. Kelly’s places her hands on either side of Yorkie’s face and pulls her in for a kiss. She can’t imagine never getting to do that again. Yorkie still smells like she did that day she met her in the park, like peppermint and lilac. It’s as sweet as the taste of her lips.

 

“So you want to spend forever with me?” Yorkie winks at her.

 

“I decided that maybe heaven is a place on earth, with you.”

 

Before she closes her eyes and she sees the clock turn to 12:01AM and Kelly knows she made the right choice. Yorkie’s second chance at life is her second chance at love and forever. She will always have those 49 years with Richard, but now she gets another 49 and then some with Yorkie. This place here, San Junipero and Yorkie, they can be what she needs now.

* * *

Yorkie looks over at the clock in disbelief when she sees that Kelly is shaking her awake at 5:45AM. They’re in paradise and they have forever, there is no reason to get up this early. Soon they’re out of bed and Kelly is tugging on her arm, pulling her toward the beach.

“Sit,” Kelly urges her.

Yorkie obliges and soon her head is resting on Kelly’s shoulder. She smiles as she sees the sun peak out into the universe. A sunrise in San Junipero, this is a first for both of them. Yorkie squeezes Kelly’s hand as she leans over to kiss her on the cheek. Heaven really is a place on earth.


End file.
